On Intoxicated Horses
by Yabberli
Summary: FRESHLY COMPLETE! Van and Stef, now living in the cream of the Havens, remember Van's long ago vow to find a way to make a Companion drunk and decide to follow up on it. One thing leads to another...
1. Mock Bows and Remembrances

Disclaimer: Hmmm. Far as I know, I own nothing here. Please don't sue me.

A/N: This is set in modern day Velgarth, except for the fact that it takes place in the Havens. Basically a minor little plot bunny about some of Van and Stef's mis-adventures.

Vanyel sat beside Stefen, warming his toes in the hot sands of the beach. Both were silent; Van because he was deep in thought and Stef because he knew Van was deep in thought and was too lazy to disturb him. Van was reliving a flashback of the night he'd first started to get to know Stef. He had woken up with an absolute terror of a hangover, as well as stiff muscles from sleeping virtuously on the floor while Stef usurped his bed for the night. At that point Van had had no idea that Stefen was shaych and had thought him simply a starry-eyed bedazzled youngster. Van smiled at the thought. _Ah, the good old days._

Now there was something else he remembered – a thought he'd had that long-ago morning about his companion Yfandes. She'd been teasing him about his hangover. And he distinctly remembered vowing to find a way to make a companion drunk. Well, now was as good a time as ever, and it wasn't as if he had anything BETTER to do…

A plan took form in his mind. He grinned. It was a decisively evil grin. And then… he couldn't help it. He laughed manically. This was going to be the most fun he'd had in a loooooong time….

Stefen had looked at him oddly after his sudden outburst. "Van?" he asked tentatively. "Is it that time of the month again? No, just jesting!" he crowed, laughing at the look on his lover's face. "But really, what's with the laugh? You okay? Is the heat getting to you? Do you want to go riding?"

Van smiled at the concern in the relatively young man's face. "I'm fine," he assured Stef. "I've just had one _hell_ of an idea."

Stef smiled. "Care to tell me about it?"

"Maybe…" Van grinned at Stef. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you. First… remember the night you met me? I let you sleep in my bed 'cause you were drunk as hell. For that matter, so was I. Anyway. I slept – virtuously, I might add – on the floor. So you can guess where that left me in the morning: sore, and with a _terrible_ hangover. It was early, too – I had an important magical appointment later in the day and 'Fandes kept me up. I got absolutely no sympathy from her, of course; just more harassment. That made me rather cranky, as you can imagine. I vowed to find a way to make a companion drunk.

Stef's eyes sparkled. "I think I may see where this is going, Vanyel-ashke. I also think I'm going to like it – very, very much."

Vanyel cleared his throat. "If certain Bards would kindly shut their mouths so I may continue – that's better. Now. One way or another, I never really got around to fulfilling that vow, what with dying and all, and then spending several centuries as a tree getting root rot. Of course, being with you made it all worth it." (A/N: FLUFF!)

Stefen took a bow. "Why, thank you, _ashke_. My pleasure, really." Van took a mock swat at him and Stef sat down again. "Oh, woe is me," exclaimed Stef, "that I may not even speak for cruel beatings bestowed upon me by the one that I love – "

He was cut off by a hand over his mouth and an arm around his neck. "Ah, peace," sighed Vanyel. "Anyway, I have a proposition for you. Are you up to completing this oath with me? It should be fun."

He removed his hand from its position over Stef's lips. Stefen wormed his way out of Van's headlock in order to perform another mock bow. "It would be an honor, my liege, to assist you in completing this great and valiant quest assigned to be your burd –"

A kick to the buttocks sent him sprawling on the ground, mouth full of sand.

A day had passed, in which the two had gotten up to all sorts of mischief and not spoken much about their master plan. Now, the sun had risen, and Vanyel was awake. Unfortunately, Stefen was not.

The Bard lay across the entire bed, taking up more space than was humanly possible with his slight little frame – _just like a cat, _thought Van, echoing his thoughts from long ago. A half-smile adorned Stef's face, and his hair was mussed across the pillow. Van, however, was by now immune to the sleeping spell his lover cast and rushed in to destroy his dreams.

Van leaned over the bed and prodded Stef's side. "Wakey, wakey, lover mine…," he cooed. "Oh, you'll be awake soon…"

And with that, Van began to mercilessly tickle Stef, not sparing him at all. His hands flew up and down Stef's sides, and then to the bottom of his feet. By now, Stef was indisputably awake, and his eyes were streaming. His limbs thrashed all over, but he could not escape: the blankets constricted his movements.

"S-s-stop!" Stef giggled, unable to control himself. "I'm a-a-awake! Really, I am!"

Van finally stopped after several more minutes of torture. As breathless with laughter as Stefen, he threw himself down on the bed beside his lifebonded, breathing deeply. Stef was still laughing helplessly, and only stopped when Van kissed him lightly on the lips. "Come on, _ashke_, we've got a lot to do today." The former Herald-mage slid off the bed, pulling Stef with him.

The Bard yawned and stretched. "What do you mean, a lot to do? We're DEAD, Van. We have all the damned time in the world."

Vanyel sniffed disdainfully at the Bard. "That's what you think. I can't keep this little ruse from 'Fandes forever, you know."

Enlightenment came to Stef's eyes and his mouth formed a soft "o". "Sorry, Van, I forgot," the young Bard said sheepishly.

"S'okay." Van prowled around their bedroom until he found a clean set of clothes for Stef and threw them at his lifebonded. "Or at least, it will be okay if you hurry up and get out of here."

Stefen threw a pillow at him.


	2. You Bards are Social Monsters

Chapter two – So, how do we get 'Fandes drunk?

Van and Stef gazed at Fandes from their vantage point in the bushes behind her. Now that she had gained her rightful space in the Havens, it was her decision as to whether she appeared as the beautiful, white, horse-like creature that had stood beside Van till the last, or as the small, dark, wise-eyed woman Van had sometimes glimpsed over the years. He had learned since what exactly Companions were – reincarnated Heralds. Vanyel was even considering coming back as one himself someday. But not yet. He had earned this vacation, and Gods be damned, he was going to enjoy it.

At the moment, 'Fandes appeared as a pale spirit horse. Her attention was focused on a bird in a tree. It was squawking. As far as Van and Stef knew, she had no inkling that the lifebonded pair was there.

As of yet, Van had no exact plan for giving 'Fandes a hangover. Stef, however, seemed to be brimming with good ideas.

Stef signaled to Van and the two crept quietly away. As soon as they were out of earshot, Vanyel spread himself out on the ground.

Stefen spoke. "I think we should get her when she's in human form." Since coming to the Havens, Stef had learned all about Yfandes and knew all her secrets. Or at least all the secrets she was willing to tell.

Van arched an eyebrow (It had taken him hours in front of a mirror to learn. But hey, he had all the time in the Havens. What was the rush?). "Oh, really? Why so, O master of knowledge?"

Stef kicked him. "'Cause if she's a horse, she's likely to smell something fishy before drinking anything we offer her. Trust me. I'm not saying she's any stupider as a human than in Companion shape, but the noses on the white ones are sure a _hell_ of a lot better than yours or mine!"

Van contemplated that for a bit. "Hmmm. Seems to me you have a point, _Ke'chara_. Touché. Alright, so we get her in human form. What else?"

Stefen thought for awhile. "Well, it seems logical – not that I'm a very logical person – to do something to do something to her Bailey's Irish Cream. You know how she loves her Bailey's Irish Cream."

"Indeed. Quite logical. Now all we've got to figure out is how to induce her to drink enough that she's stuck with a hangover. How can we get her to drink three bottle's worth of wine, as well as enough Irish Cream mixed in with each dose to take the flavor away? Gods know that's a lot of liquid!" Van sat down, stumped.

Stef screwed up his face in thought. "We… have a party?" he suggested tentatively. "And spike the Irish Cream? I mean, nobody drinks it but her. Most people go for the stronger stuff."

Van leaped up and hugged his lifebonded. "Stef! That's ingenious! Now we've go to go plan this." With that, he leaped up and ran to the kitchen, no doubt to find a pad and pencil.

Van and Stef lived quite comfortably in a small cottage on a beach in Bermu – ahem. The Havens. They knew several other people living near them, most of them former Heralds. This seemed to be the district where dead Heralds were dumped, and since Van was a Herald, Stef had decided to come along, too. It had always seemed to him that this was where the whitest sands were, anyway. So why shouldn't he take advantage of his lifebond?

There were only a few people here from the pair's past life that had not yet decided to return to Velgarth. Tantras had already been and was now back with his Herald, Kris. He said the experience of being a Companion had been "decidedly odd". His Herald, Kris, was a decent sort, and had known Van's distant descendant, Elspeth. Van still wished he had had more time to spend with her.

So, he'd invite Tran and Kris, and… who else did he know? Both Savil and Jaysen were out doing their duties as Companions. Savil had bonded to some harridan mercenary woman from Jkatha who was just as stubborn as she was. Van thought it was good for her. Jays had unexpectedly chosen the Lord Marshal-Prince of Rethwellan. Even more unexpectedly, the Prince had lifebonded to Queen Selenay the moment he set eyes on her and was now the official co-consort of Valdemar.

_Looks like it all worked out for everyone in the end. Hell, it might work out for me, the Shadowstalker and Demonsbane, eventually! But hey – right now I've got Stef by my side and a party to host. So why am I brooding?_

Van thought about this for a moment and came to the logical conclusion. _Savil and Jays were two of my best friends. I miss them. Or maybe I just like to brood._

And now, more importantly, he had a party to host. And people to invite. Van sighed. It was back to the beginning. _Or maybe I can make this easier._

"Stef!" he called.

Stef poked his head out of the door to the kitchen and tilted it inquiringly. "What?"

"I can't think of anybody to invite. Help me. This is practically your element. You Bards are social monsters."

Stefen left his position in the doorway and sprawled backwards in a chair across from Van, eating a chocolate éclair. Van leaned over and stole a bite. "Let's see." The Bard furrowed hi s brow. "There's Tran and Kris –"

"Got them."

"Let me finish! Ummmm…" Stef snapped his fingers. "Medren! I know for a fact he's been cooling his heels in the hot springs for the past few weeks. And isn't there that one healer? You know, Savil's friend?"

Van was scribbling names on a sheet of paper. "Oh yeah, Andy. Can't forget him. Anybody else?"

"We should invite the new Heralds, the ones that have just arrived and are a little confused about what they should be doing, now that they're in the Havens. We have to show them what a real party is all about!"

Van held up a finger. "Remember – there is another hidden purpose to this party."

Stef shrugged. "No reason why it shouldn't be as fun!"

Stef gave Van some more ideas and then left, to go decorate the house. He bounded up the stairs, no doubt to find the Tayledras sendlewood candles.

Van surveyed the room with an expression of dismay on his face. "Stef, what did you do?"

Stef shifted sheepishly from foot to foot. "I decorated. Don't you like it?"

Van hid his head in his hands.

Stef skipped over and gave him a hug. "C'mon, _ashke_. It's not that bad. Just give it a chance. I promise you'll love it." He smiled. "Our guests will love it, too!"

The Herald-Mage shook his head. "Love it? Stef, I think they'll run away in fear!"

The room had been adorned with tinsel garlands and drapes of silk were hung up about the windows. Stef had apparently raided the attic to find a positively hideous set of silver Companion statuettes. They had been given to Van long ago as a gift for his services. He had tried to refuse them, but in vain. The figurine nearest Van was rearing. The previously mentioned sendlewood candles were burning in elaborately beaded sconces on the walls.

All in all, it was a gaudy display of bad taste. Van hadn't known Stef had it in him.

"And… this is your idea of party gear?" Van asked incredulously. Stef was being nearly as bad as his family!

Stef nodded, a hopeful look on his face.

Van sighed. "Fine, _ashke_. We can keep it up. But I refuse to take any credit at all."

The smile on Stef's face was thanks enough.

A/N You like? Sorry this took so long. I have actually had this written for weeks but I haven't had time to type it up until now. A lot of the info in here was thanks to the Valdemar Companion. It even says the 'Fandes likes Irish Cream! And now I really have to go. I can't think of anything else to put here. Oh! Thanks to all my kind reviewers! You guys rock! And reviews make me warm and fuzzy inside, so really, you should review!

- Yabberli


	3. My Lady's Eyes

Chapter Three – My Lady's Eyes 

There was an hour before the party started, and Vanyel intended to use it well. He was in the kitchen, a small room off the living room. On the table before him sat his tools for the mission. They included quite a large punch bowl, several hefty bottles of Irish Cream, and a few bottles of potent whiskey. Vanyel cackled to himself. "Now, on to business."

Van popped the cork on the bottles of Irish Cream and filled the punch bowl about three-quarters of the way full. He then took the whiskey and poured a generous amount it, filling punch bowl to the brim.

Stef entered the room, tripped over an ornamental rug, then righted himself and strode over to Van's seat. "Are we almost ready?" His eyes sparkled with the excitement upcoming prank.

Van laughed. "Almost. Be patient. I'll go put this outside with the rest of the drinks. Let's just hope we didn't invite another Irish Cream obsessive by mistake."

Stef grinned. "But it'd be so much fun to watch them!"

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The party had started, and was in full swing. The sky was growing darker, and had given Stefen an excuse to cocoon all of the sendlewood candles in colored lanterns, thus bathing the party-goers in multicolored light.

Vanyel led his Companion through the crowd. "This way," he said imperiously. 'Fandes followed, for the moment in the shape of a tall, dark woman.

"Come on, Van," she laughed. "Where is it? I need my Irish Cream! It's calling to me!" She swooned dramatically.

Van swatted mockingly at her. "Cut the play acting. Here's your drink!"

Yfandes swooped on the punch bowl and quickly ladled some of the spiked liquid into a glass. Taking a deep swallow, she sighed in contentment. Van left her there and faded into the crowd to find Stefen.

After searching for a while, a flash of auburn in the corner of Van's eye warned him and he had just enough time to duck before Stefen flew over him. Van sat up and watched as Stef lay motionless on the ground for a few seconds, and then reached a hand over to help him up. Stef moaned.

Van grinned. "Nice try, _ashke_, but you should know by now – _Never_ try to tackle me!"

Stef moaned again. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. Now, come here. There's something I want to show you."

Van pulled Stef over to the table where Yfandes was guzzling Irish Cream. Apparently, she had not noticed that she got tipsier with every glass.

At that moment, 'Fandes saw them. "V-van!" she called. "Shtef! How're you doin'?"

Van grinned covertly at Stef. "We're fine, 'Fandes. Enjoying the Irish Cream, are you?"

"Oh, yesh," 'Fandes slurred. "S'good, Van! You should try it!" She smacked her lips.

"That's okay, love. I'm fine with wine."

"Shuit yourshelf." 'Fandes took another long pull on her glass.

Meanwhile, Stef was trying his hardest not to laugh. It wasn't as easy as it seemed. His mouth was twitching, and he was shaking. Finally he could hold it in no longer and he burst out laughing.

'Fandes looked at him oddly. "Whassa matter with him?"

Vanyel quickly clapped a hand over Stef's mouth. "Nothing, nothing…. Just go back to your drink, love. I'll come back later."

'Fandes' eyes focused on the vessel she held cupped in her hand. "Right."

Van dragged the twitching Stef over to a secluded corner and grinned at his lifebonded, who had collapsed in giggles once more. "So. You like?"

Stef was breathing heavily. "That… was the… funniest damn thing I've seen in a long time, Van. Seriously." He got up and struck a pose. "Yfandes, the white lady of wisdom and knowledge, who always seems to know _everything_ – drunk!" He fell to the ground again. "Hell, Van, can we do this more often?"

Van grinned. "Think we should?"

"_Hell_ yes! I haven't had so much fun in _centuries_!"

"I agree," said Van. "This is just the kind of thing I need to do on my relaxing vacation. You think we should go check on her?"

Stef nodded. "Yeah. Who knows what she could be up to?"

They slipped out of the shadows and joined the throng of people. As they pushed toward the refreshment tables, a song assaulted their ears.

Van cocked his head. "If I'm not mistaken…."

"Which you're usually not," Stef put in helpfully.

"Then that is sound of a very drunk Companion singing the second verse of _My Lady's Eyes_." An evil grin appeared on Van's face. "Gods, this is turning out to be even better than I thought it would! Who knew she was such a cheap drunk?"

They eagerly threaded their way through the crowd until they reached the Irish Cream table. There, perched on top, was Yfandes. Her hair was wild and her clothes askew. Van and Stef settled down to watch.

"– _And while away, I long and pray / The days may speed, and then,_" Yfandes warbled plaintively. "_I heartward hie, I flee, I fly / To see her eyes again._"

By this time, Stefen was on the floor in giggling convulsions, and even Van was laughing whole heartedly. Yfandes had turned herself into quite a spectacle, and a crowd was gathering around the intoxicated Companion.

Tantras appeared at Van's elbow. There was a devilish grin on his face. "So, I suppose you two are the perpetrators?"

Van tried to strike a mysterious look. "What makes you think that?"

Tran grinned. "Please, don't give me that. I've known you _forever_, Van. Centuries. Long enough to know when something has your mark on it. So. I assume you gave the horse something intoxicating?"

Van nodded, laughing too hard to speak. "We… spiked the … Irish Cream," he gasped. "I'd no idea she'd go this far!"

Tran laughed. "Can't wait to see her face when she wakes up, can you?" he grinned. "Can I come?"

Van shook his head. "Sorry. It's just going to be me and Stef. This is revenge, you see. For something she did a _very_ long time ago. I'm following up on a vow I made."

Tran cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Care to elaborate?" In the background, 'Fandes started on the third verse.

"I guess," agreed Van. "Okay, so you remember that morning when we were tying all the Heralds to the web?"

Tran grinned. "How could I forget? I was the one who could have been killed, remember?"

"Right. Anyway, the night before had been the night I met Stef." Tran grinned. "Get your filthy mind out of the gutter! As I was about to say, we had gotten rather drunk. Naturally, I had a hangover in the morning."

Tran looked horrified. "You attempted a major working that could have killed me with a _hangover_?"

"Relax, it worked, didn't it? Besides, by the timewe were ready to start the working it was almost gone. However, when I woke up, my head felt like it was going to split in half. And Yfandes offered no sympathy whatsoever. Just some tripe about nominating me for sainthood, or some such thing. Anyway, right then and there, I made a vow – '_Some day, I'm going to find out how to make a Companion drunk, and when she wakes up, I'll be waiting._' A couple days ago I spontaneously remembered this vow. I decided to follow up on it, and here I am!"

"Nice," said Tran. "I'd better go – Kris's calling me. See you later, okay?"

"Bye!" called Van after him, and turned his attention to the now dancingCompanion on the table.

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After a night of singing, dancing, and general craziness, Vanyel and Stefen dragged Yfandes, who had passed out awhile ago, to her bed on the first floor of the cottage. Everybody had gone home, leaving a terrific mess for them to clean up, but they'd worry about tomorrow. Right now, they had better things to do.

"Got the candles?"

"Yep," Stef replied. "And blankets, too."

"Good. Ready to camp out?" Van asked.

"_Hell _yes!" Stef replied vehemently, and settled himself on the floor of 'Fandes' room.

Van quoted himself from long ago. "When she wakes up, we'll be waiting."

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A/N: I am so sorry this took so long. I lost the rough draft and had to start again from scratch. However, I actually like this version much better, so maybe that was all for the good.

Now, a poll. Do I end it here? Or should I add one more, possibly very short chapter? Tell me in your reviews! And also, read my Harry Potter fic. It's pretty short – just a small one-shot.

Now I'm going to go eat whatever smells so good downstairs. Cheerio!

A/N #2: I had this ready yesterday morning... but wouldn't let me log in until today, so I couldn't upload. Anyway, enjoy!

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	4. We Will Always Triumph!

Chapter four – We Will Always Triumph!

Yfandes' eyes flickered open. Light hit them and she quickly closed them again. _Oh, my aching head_.

She was lying in her bed, which was odd. Usually she slept outside in Companion form. In fact, all the circumstances this morning were odd. How in Havens did she get this gods-be-damned _headache_?

She thought back to the night before. _Gods, I can't remember _anything…. The last thing she recalled was Van leading her to that huge bowl of Irish Cream… damn. That had been _good_ Irish Cream.

Thoughts chased each other around in circles and collided; she could hardly think for the pain. She shoved it aside and concentrated. This was clearly the fault of Vanyel and Stefen. No one else would _dare_ prank her. If it was a prank and not some freak accident.

She sat up, ignoring the feeling that her head was splitting in two. After waiting for the spots to clear from her vision, she cautiously examined the room. Catching sight of the pair collapsed upon one another in the corner, her guess was confirmed. _Oh, no. This is _definitely_ aprank._Van was snoring lightly, and 'Fandes could only just see Stefen's hair above the blanket. She glared furiously at them for a moment before sending the mental equivalent of a poke to Vanyel.

Van stirred. :_Wha? Oh.: _He sent his response in an eye blink and tapped Stef on his mountain of locks. "Stefen," he said aloud.

Stef's auburn head moved and his face appeared above the comforter. Yawning, he took in his surroundings. Eyes alighting on Yfandes, he exclaimed joyfully, "She's awake!"

Fandes glowered fiercely at the two of them. Stef actually drew back a little, never having seen the Companion in this state of mind before, but Van didn't react.

"So, love," he began cautiously. "How did you sleep?"

Yfandes couldn't believe he had the nerve to actually say that. _Hell, what am I thinking? Of course he has the nerve. He's faced worse things than me!_

Bringing herself back to the present, she shot him a scalding look that looked as if it could burn. "What… did you… _do?"_ she growled.

Vanyel beamed. _I haven't seen him this happy in years!_

"Oh, nothing," he answered cheerfully. "How did you like your Irish Cream? I prepared it especially for you."

Van quite enjoyed watching the look on Yfandes' face turn from one of fury, to one of puzzlement, to understanding, and then back to fury. "You… you… you _spiked_ it?" she spluttered.

Van grinned at her and waited while she regained her composure. Drawing herself up to her full height (which wasn't much) and ignoring the pincers shooting through her skull, she glared at Vanyel and Stef, who was still sitting in the corner.

"Just know," she said, "That as soon as I get rid of this absolutely _disgusting_ headache, it would be in your best interests to retreat to someplace where I cannot find you." She tried to punctuate this with a glare, but her head hurt so much she fell backwards onto the bed and rather diminished the effect of this threat.

Van chortled. "Well, considering the amount of alcohol that went into that bowl, we should have quite awhile before you get rid of that headache. Whaddya say we go and find a real bed, Stef?"

Stef nodded and yawned and the pair of them retreated to the door, presumably to head up to their bed.

Yfandes lay sprawled on her comforter until she heard the tell-tale thumping of feet on the upper floor. Then she slid out of bed, careful not to jar her aching skull, and stumbled out the door into the kitchen. There was a jar of tea on the counter, but she passed it up and instead wobbled toward the door leading outside. She almost passed out as the bright sunlight hit her eyes, but she scrunched them up in an effort to keep out the light and triggered the change.

It was nothing big, switching from human to Companion. It was as if she toggled a switch in her brain, and all the sudden she possessed a lot more mass than she had a second ago.

Opening the blue eyes of a Companion, she gave as much of a grin as a horse can give and whinnied triumphantly. As she had hoped, her headache had gone. _Gods, I love Companion form. _Obviously the magic of the Companions had countered any effects the alcohol had had on her.

After prancing about for a few minutes, she decided to test another of her theories. She activated her mental switch and immediately appeared as a human once more.

She grinned maniacally. Her hangover hadn't returned.

And now – for revenge…

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Yfandes crept up the stairs with a large bucket of water sloshing in her hand. The steps creaked underfoot, but she ignored them and skipped over the loudest one. She reached landing and pushed softly on the lifebondeds' door, which stood slightly ajar.

It swung open, and she tiptoed inside.

The lifebonded pair lay sprawled on the bed, asleep. They had obviously been up all night, either partying or waiting for 'Fandes to wake up.

Stef's auburn hair drew lines of fire against the crisp white linen of the pillow; Van's pillow looked more as if a careless hand had upended a bottle of ink. As usual, Stefen's small frame was arranged so that he took up the lion's share of the bed space. Vanyel was curled up in a ball on the very edge of the mattress. 'Fandes had to stifle a giggle. He looked as if he would fall off at any moment!

They looked so peaceful – but that wouldn't last long. Yfandes hefted the bucket in both hands, hesitated for a few seconds, then dismissed the last of her regrets and sloshed it over the pair of them.

They came awake immediately; Van sat bolt upright. Stefen came awake with a yell, and then sat up and glared reproachfully at 'Fandes. The Companion grinned.

Van regained his senses. "F – f – 'Fandes!" he spluttered. "You're supposed to be passed out downstairs.

'Fandes grinned. "Doesn't look that way, does it, my boy?"

"But – how –?" Stefen stammered. "We gave you enough to keep you out for a week!"

Yfandes held up a finger. "Ah," she said. "But there is one thing you should know."

"What?" exclaimed an exasperated Vanyel.

"Never – I mean _never_ – attempt to mess with a Companion! We will always triumph!"

With that, she pranced away from their accusing stairs and went to enjoy her bright and shining hangover-free day.

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A/N: Yes, this is my shortest chapter yet – but I warned you! Anyway, this will probably be the ending, but I'm thinking of turning it into a kind of prank war between Yfandes and Van and Stef, so I'm not going to put a cap on it just yet.

P.S. If anyone wants to complain of the use of the word 'spiked' in this chapter, feel free. I couldn't think of an alternative word.

Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed reading! Now review! Review! Review! Press the little button! YoU kNoW yOu WaNt To!

P.S. Happy Mother's day everybody! (or it was... yesterday... when the computer wouldn't let me upload... )


	5. Footwear Fiasco

Chapter 5: Footwear Fiasco

Van shook out his dripping hair and groaned. Stefen agreed, emitting a similar noise.

"Lord and Lady!" ejected Vanyel. "I am _soaked_! What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

"You could always take a bath… or use a drying spell. And there're these things called _towels_…." Stefen interjected. "This isn't exactly the worst fate in the world. I mean, there are worse things than being completely sopping wet."

"I would like to request that you not mention any of them at the moment."

"Request denied. There are bears, and rapists, and –" Vanyel covered Stef's mouth with his hand.

"Okay, _ashke_. That's enough. You're done." Stefen's eyes crinkled, a sure sign that he was smiling behind the hand.

Vanyel began to slowly and cautiously remove his palm from Stefen's mouth. He yelped and quickly jerked it away when Stef stuck out his tongue and licked it. Stef chortled.

"You," Van informed his lifebonded, "are incredibly immature."

"And proud of it!" Stefen was grinning like a rabid monkey.

"Anyway, as I was about to say, I wasn't griping about _this _situation," Vanyel began, indicating his sopping body. He snapped his fingers and was instantly dry. "I was wondering what we were going to do today. I'm not exactly on the best terms with 'Fandes at the moment, as you may have noticed."

Stef grinned. "Oh. Well, I dunno. We could… make cookies!" Vanyel gagged. "What? I like cookies! Fine. Ummm… we could go to the beach?"

Vanyel seized the non-sugar related idea. "Yes! Beach! Glorious idea! What's the point of living in the Havens if you don't go to the beach? Let's go right away!"

"Okay," agreed Stef. "I'll go pack a picnic basket and stuff. And I think you should invite Yfandes. You two need to kiss and make up."

Van made a face. "Fine. Before you go… . " He snapped his fingers, and Stef was dry too. "My little gift to you."

Stef smiled. "Thanks. I appreciate it." He skipped down the stairs.

Van sighed and lay back in the bed, then sat up very swiftly as the pooled water soaked his shirt. "Well, I guess I'd better get up…." he said, addressing the ceiling.

Easier said than done.

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Vanyel sneezed as sand tickled his nose. "Stef, if you don't stop soon, I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Bless you," said an amused female voice from somewhere near his elbow.

Stef just giggled again. Vanyel cracked his eyes open to see his lifebonded stretched on the beach, making a sand angel. He was wearing a pair of shorts, as was Vanyel. Yfandes in her human form was lying below him, dressed in shorts and a tunic. All three had boots scattered amidst the driftwood and shells littering the shores.

The sun beat down on their backs, and the white sand only reflected it back and made it worse. Vanyel groaned and rolled over. "I'm bored." Spying a boot, he grabbed in and threw it at Yfandes. "Shoe fight!"

'Fandes shrieked as the heavy footwear hit her head. "Van! Stop it!" she cried. "What in the Lord and Lady's name are you _doing_?"

Vanyel grinned impishly. "Having fun," he replied with a lilt in his voice. "Come on. You know you want to." He tossed another boot in her direction.

"Ack!" yelped Yfandes, dodging the boot with Companion speed. "Fine, then – take _this_!" Vanyel swooned dramatically as the leather struck his chest. "

"Alas, dear lady, you have wounded me!"

"Give it up," replied Yfandes, who flung another boot. "As I said before, we shall always triumph!"

Stef leaped into the fray. "Not if I can help it!"

The three readily engaged in a mock battle, snatching and hurling the footwear for all they were worth. Leather, laces, and sand flew everywhere. Finally, 'Fandes seized one of Stefen's shoes and gave it a heave. The boot flew past Vanyel's head, where she was aiming, and landed in the ocean.

"Hurry!" Van cried as he scrambled to his feet. "We have to catch it before it floats away!"

'Fandes and Stefen catapulted to their feet and ran after Van, who was already nearly to the shore. But it was no use. A quick current caught up the boot and it was soon out of reach.

The trio stood gazing at the waterlogged footwear.

"Damn," said Yfandes.

"I think that pretty much sums up my feelings as well," agreed Van. "Stef?"

The bard was drooping. "How will I get home without my boot?" he exclaimed dramatically, swooning theatrically. "And those were nice leather, I'll have you know!"

Van caught his lifebonded and leveled him out of his collapse. "Don't worry! We'll get it back! And if not… well… Yfandes will carry you home, _ashke_!" He pulled Stefen into a quick embrace. "Also, she'll have to buy you a new boot."

Yfandes was livid. "Hey! I'd never said I'd – "

Vanyel silenced her with a look. "Now. To business. How do we get the boot out of the water?"

"I'm not sure. Come on, let's see if we can get closer."

The pair of them left Stefen moping on the beach and hiked along the water's edge, occasionally making progress towards the lone floating boot, which bobbed in the ocean like an apple at a party. Vanyel hiked, but Yfandes insisted on changing intermittently into her Companion form. However, even as they made progress, the boot seemed to be getting farther and farther away.

"Damn," Van swore.

"What?"

"The tide's going out. We'll never catch it at this rate." Vanyel held his hand in a salute on his forehead, shielding his eyes from the reflection on the white sand. "I can hardly see it!"

"Look!" Yfandes had jumped to her feet and was pointing wildly at something in the distance behind Van. "A boat! We can get help!"

Van scrambled to his feet, nearly falling over in the shifting sand. He started leaping and bounding about, windmilling his arms and waving them violently. Yfandes stared.

"Van, what in Lord and Lady's name are you _doing_?"

"We've got to attract their attention," Van panted. "The boat might not come near enough to shore if they don't realize we need help! Come on! You help!" He snatched her arm before she could pull away and started dragging her around in some insane parody of a tribal dance. Yfandes, after struggling for awhile, gave into the dance and her herald's mad ideas and added her own flourishes and leaps. They continued until Van collapsed into the sand, breathing hard and laughing heavily. 'Fandes followed.

"D – d'you think they saw us?" Yfandes panted.

"Dunno. I'll check after I manage to move from this extremely comfortable position."

After lying in the sand for a few more seconds, Van levered himself up on his elbows and shaded his eyes to glance at the horizon. "Yes – I think they saw! Or at least they're coming closer."

"So what do we do? Just wait? Or should we go tell Stefen?" inquired Yfandes. "Do you think he'll want to know? He seemed awfully down."

Van peered at the distant boat, his brow furrowed. "He'll get over it. It'll be quicker if we find his shoe, but he'll get over it eventually anyway. Look, they're almost here. We'll be able to see their faces soon."

'Fandes squinted at the horizon and found that he was right. She could just make out the tiny figure of a man, steering the small boat. There didn't seem to be any other passengers.

"Something about that curly hair seems wildly familiar," observed Van as they watched the vessel draw nearer.

Narrowing her eyes, Yfandes concentrated on the swiftly approaching individual and the long brown hair that adorned his head. "You're right," she said softly. "Now, if only I could place it… it's on the tip of my tongue."

Suddenly, the lanky frame of the figure made her thoughts snap into place. "It's Medren! Ho, Medren! Over here! I should've known any mischievous nephew of yours would be driving a boat, Van! Oi! Medren!"

Van gaped. "Medren? When did _he_ learn to steer a boat? Ah, well. I'll ask him when we get that boot back. Medren! Medren, over here! Damn, he's going to tease us about that dance number we did. Medren! Hurry up, you lazy lout!"

The boat was quite near now, and Yfandes saw Medren thumbing his nose at Van for the insult. As it drew closer, Van waded into the shallows to meet it.

"Ahoy, uncle! What brings you to call for help from this traveling troubadour?" said Medren, who had always had a flair for the dramatic.

"Damn bards and their theatrical tendencies…," muttered Van. "Heyla, Medren. 'Fandes and I –"

"Don't forget Stef!" said Yfandes, pointing to the distant shore where Stef still sat.

"– yes, and Stef, of course, were wondering if we could ask you a little favor. You see, in the midst of a shoe fight – don't ask, by the way – my dear Companion Yfandes managed to hurl Stefen's boot into the ocean. Alas, it quickly floated beyond our reach and we were not speedy enough to recapture it. Would you, kind sir, be so good as to retrieve our misplaced footwear?"

Bardic habits had a tendency to rub off on Van.

Medren doffed his cap. "Why, of course, my dear fellow. I shall present to you your boot momentarily," he said. With that, he was off; the boat was turned around, and Medren set off on his quest for the missing shoe.

Van and Yfandes plopped down in the sand to watch the chase. Shielding their eyes from the sun, they observed as the boat maneuvered crazily through the waves to catch the boot.

"That craft's got to have some sort of spell on it," Van remarked. "There's no way it's moving that fast with just the wind."

Yfandes silently agreed. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the little figure on the boat swooped his hand into the water and pulled out a boot.

"Yes!" Van pumped his arm in the air. "He's got it! Stef, Medren's got your boot!"

"Van, he can't hear you," remarked 'Fandes in an amused tone.

"Yes, well, it's my duty to alert him to this development, and if he can't hear the alert, then that's his problem. Hey, Medren! Bring it here!"

But the boat did not turn toward the shore.

"Oi, MEDREN!" Van bellowed. "Bring the boot HERE!"

The boat, in fact, spun toward the horizon instead, leaving a trail of disrupted water behind.

"MEDREN!"

The boat and its pilot ignored Van's plea.

"Damn!" swore Vanyel. "'Fandes, Medren's gone off with Stef's boot! We've got to stop him! I should've known that scoundrel was up to no good… 'Fandes? Come on, help!"

But Y'fandes did not help. Presently she was occupied laughing and snorting in the sand. "There's nothing you can do, Van," she said through her giggles. "You're not seeing _that_ boot again."

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I really have no excuse for not posting a chapter sooner; I had the entire summer, and, well, I slacked off. Seriously. I didn't do ANYTHING this summer.

This chapter is based on an actual event. Yes, my shoe did get thrown in the ocean. Blame my brother. This chapter has been brewing for quite a long time.

- Natalie


	6. Humiliation and Revenge

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Chapter Six – Humiliation and Revenge

Stefen, feet clad in a pair of walking shoes, paced the front of the room.

"All right, men –"

"And women," declared Yfandes, who, along with Vanyel, observed Stefen as he presented his plan.

Stefen furrowed his brow. "All right, men and women. Nah, that doesn't sound professional. Too long. Sorry, 'Fandes. Back to square one. All right, men. We all know what occurred at the beach. Frankly, _incidents _of that sort shouldn't be allowed. Especially when they result in the loss of my favorite shoe. I propose… revenge."

Vanyel nodded in agreement. "Medren will pay the price. I never knew that little bugger of a nephew of mine had it in him." He shook his head. "Wait, scratch that. I'm just now remembering his days as a bardic apprentice. He definitely had it in him all along."

"How in Havens do you forget an apprenticeship like that?" Stefen asked incredulously, rolling his eyes.

"Hey! Being a tree for a couple centuries really takes it out of you!" Vanyel cried, offended.

'Fandes butted in. "Break it up, you two. I know you could argue this point all day, but we have other business to attend to. First off, I ask the all important question: How?"

"I've been thinking," said Stef, fondling his chin, "and I remembered a certain bar-room incident that occurred several years ago. Do you happen to recall the one I speak of, Van?"

"If I'm thinking what you're thinking, then I definitely like the way this is going," Van said with satisfaction in his voice.

"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking," Stef grinned.

Yfandes sighed. "Will somebody _please_ just tell me what you're talking about?"

"Do you remember that one time we went out for a drink at Ashkevron?" said Vanyel, with a look of glee on his face.

'Fandes scrunched up her face as she thought. "I think so. If I recall correctly, Van was so fed up with his family that he just grabbed Stef and stormed out Ashkevron's gates,"

"Yes, that's the one," Van continued. "Anyway, I was so irritated that I stomped into the tavern, dragging Stef all the way, threw myself and Stef onto the two nearest stools, and demanded two pints of ale – "

"Each," chimed in Stef,

"– Yes, that's right, two pints each. Anyway, I ordered the ale and proceeded to get royally pissed. Stef joined me."

Yfandes smirked. "Yes, I remember this incident very clearly now. After you two drunken sots guzzled your sixth pint each, you started singing. And Stefen, you may be a bard, but please remember – your voice is _not_ at its best when you're completely smashed. That goes for you too, chosen."

"I'll keep that in mind," laughed Stef.

Vanyel ignored 'Fandes and carried on with the tale. "And we didn't just sing any old song, oh no."

"We decided, on the spot, to have a bad song contest!" snickered Stefen as he collapsed into giggles with Vanyel not far behind.

"Good times," reminisced Van as he wiped tears from his eyes. "Back to the point of this story. At the conclusion of our ale-fest, the bartender threw us out the door. We ended up in the middle of the street."

"Stark naked," added Stef.

Yfandes shook her head. "I have never asked how you managed to lose your clothing, and I'm not going to ask now. But I think I see your point."

"We throw Medren into the street!" cried Stef, quivering with excitement.

"In the _nude_!" finished Van, beaming. "So what do you think?"

"It's… genius!" declared Yfandes. "I commend you, chosen. I thought you'd lost some of your talent for tactics –"

"And maturity." Stef said the words disguised in a cough.

"– since we'd come to the Havens, but it appears the old strategic mind is still going strong! Although you're definitely more immature," Yfandes commented.

"Um… thank you? I'm not quite sure whether to treat that as a compliment or not," Van laughed.

"To be frank, I don't either," Yfandes said wryly.

"Well, at least I'm not alone."

"So." Stefen rubbed his hands together. "How do we accomplish this task?"

"Well, obviously we've got to lure him in." Van furrowed his brow in thought. "What exactly does Medren want? We've got to have some bait if we're going to lure him."

"Well…," Stef thought out loud. "He likes… cake?"

"Stefen, please," 'Fandes sighed. "This is your shoe we're trying to avenge."

"All right, all right. He likes… pretty girls?"

"That just may work!" Vanyel rubbed his hands together. "Medren never married; he much preferred the bachelor's life, with plenty of girls flocking to him like flies to honey. He's pretty shallow, I guess. The right woman might hook him in!"

"Right! Well. We have a small problem. Who's the lucky lady?"

Vanyel grinned. The smile gave off an aura of evil, and Stefen shivered in spite of himself at the look on his lifebonded's face.

"I have an idea."

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"I can_not_ believe I am doing this!"

Vanyel, Stefen, and Yfandes gathered around a full length mirror in Van and Stef's room. Clothing and fashion accessories littered the place; piles of discarded garments covered the bed and only small pieces of floor could be seen underneath the build-up of abandoned junk.

"I's fo yo ow goo," Yfandes mumbled through a mouthful of hairpins.

"What?" asked Stefen.

"She said, it's for your own good," interpreted Van. "and stop fussing! Do you want your dress to get messed up?"

Stefen subsided and turned to the mirror. "Still," he said. "A dress! Me! Why do I have to be the one to masquerade as a woman?"

"Because you're the most petite, you have the most feminine features, and your hair is the prettiest color," interjected Yfandes. "And if you want your hair to be the prettiest overall, then stop moving! There!" she exclaimed as she jammed the last hair pin into place.

Stefen sighed. He plucked at the sides of his silky red gown and let them go, then twirled to view himself in the mirror and made a face of distaste at his hair. "'Fandes, what did you _do_?" he asked, horrified.

"Hey! It's not that bad!" cried the wounded artist.

"'Fandes! 'Fandes, my dear companion, _you've given me curls!_ And you have the nerve to complain that 'it's not that bad?' Honestly!"

"Stef, give it up," Van said impatiently. "Do you want revenge or not? You're the one who suggested pretty girls, and it's not _my_ fault you happened to look so –"

"Ah, ah, ah! Do not even go there, _ashke. _Stop while you're ahead. Also, question: why can't 'Fandes do it?"

"'Cause she doesn't want to, and it's not her shoe. Also, you're smaller than Yfandes. As well as the fact that you're going to have to put on quite a show to convince Medren and Yfandes can't act for beans. Plus, she's got muscle." Van grinned, and Stefen looked offended.

"I resent that!"

"Fine, resent it, just don't move while I'm applying your make-up," Yfandes quipped as she lifted a brush dipped in face powder.

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Vanyel and Yfandes surveyed their finished creation. Stefen sported a silky, flowing red gown that gathered at his feet in shining folds. His auburn hair, which he always wore long, rested in a knot at the back of his head with the ends left to spiral down his neck in corkscrew curls. Heavy eyeliner gave him a slight raccoon-ish look and blush made him look as if he'd just run a great distance. A necklace of garnets circled his neck and his chest had been… enhanced with some well placed stuffing and a slight spell contributed from Vanyel.

"Beautiful!" Van cried, and slapped "Stephanie" on the shoulder.

"Ow," muttered Stef as he rubbed the spot.

"Van! You can't hit a lady!" cried Yfandes as she slapped her Herald.

"Sorry," said Van, abashed. "Havens, Stef, you look just like a woman. If I didn't know you as well as do..." He shook his head. "Now, the question is, will it fool Medren?"

Yfandes furrowed her brow. "I'm not sure," she said, biting her lip. "Maybe… Van, will you add a bit of glamour just to make sure?"

Van's grin was feral. "Certainly. I know just the thing, as well."

Stefen's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh, no. Oh, no you don't."

But it was too late. Vanyel waved his arm and Stefen's hair turned a blinding platinum blonde.

Stefen whirled to face the mirror. "My hair! My gorgeous locks! Van, what have you _done_?"

"I think it looks splendid," Yfandes said impatiently. "Now, come on. If we ever want this plan to work, then we've got to find Medren."

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Vanyel and Yfandes seized Stefen by the arm and dragged him out the door. There was a slight pause as Yfandes shifted into her Companion and Vanyel and Stef clambered on. Stefen nearly fell off as his awkward skirt kept his legs together. Van snorted as he arranged Stef in a sidesaddle position.

"It's not funny," Stefen moped as Yfandes started off. Van snickered.

"Oh, but that's where you're wrong. It's hilarious."

Yfandes agreed with a whinny.

Silence reigned for a few minutes, until Stefen spoke. "So, where're we going? You know where Medren is going to be?"

"Well, not exactly," Van replied. "But I do know that he enjoys dining at a certain tavern every night. I'm assuming we'll find him there."

Stefen grinned. "Bring it on."

They had traveled a fair way when Yfandes mindspoke. :_Why do I have to carry you both?_: she complained.

:_Because, love, it's the most logical way to travel,_: Van replied primly. :_Come on, now, we're almost there. Just one stretch more. I know you can make it._:

'Fandes snorted.

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The lights from inside the tavern illuminated the street with a soft glow as the three schemers glanced in the window. As one, they stepped back and Vanyel gave Stefen the final game plan. Yfandes primped his hair and redid his make-up as Stefen squirmed.

"All right, Stef, here's what you do," Vanyel began. "Get in there. You're easily the prettiest woman in the place –"

"Hey!"

"– and you're certain to draw Medren's attention. Once you're in there, there's only one word for what you must do.

"Seduce him."

Stefen nodded grimly. "But not for too long, right? Only enough to get him out of the place, then you can stun him and we can strip him and then leave him? And maybe acquire a room for the night so we can see the reaction! This is revenge, after all."

"Excellent idea, Stef. We are definitely going to get a room," Vanyel said.

Yfandes was muttering behind the hairpins. "You mean two rooms! I'm not going to stay in a room with you two. I have no idea what might happen."

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Medren leaned against the bar and ordered another drink.

"This is the life," he said to his fellow bardic friend, who occupied the stool next to him. "Well, death, I suppose. But it's a damn sight better than life was."

"Course it is. This is the Havens, isn't it? We're supposed to enjoy ourselves, and I certainly am!" agreed his friend. Medren inhaled another half of his dinner and scanned the room quickly.

"No birds tonight," Medren said disappointedly. "Least, nothing pretty." He heard the door open behind him, but paid it no notice.

Until he caught a flash of red in the corner of his eye.

Medren's head spun so fast it might nearly have flown off his neck. His eyes moved up and down quickly, but his lips moved even quicker.

"Dibs."

"Damn," muttered his friend. "You are way too speedy for me, Medren."

"You bet the Havens I am," Medren said distractedly. Gods, she was _beautiful_. Full lips, lightly rouged cheeks, and that dress – it didn't leave much to the imagination. To top off the cake, her hair shone a bright platinum blonde.

He slid off the stool, dinner and drink forgotten, and sauntered over to the gorgeous woman. She glanced at him with what at first seemed like alarm, but quickly turned to allure in the eyes of Medren.

"Hello," said Medren, deep voice practically purring. The girl seemed a little odd, but she smiled sweetly. "Would you like a drink?"

She opened her mouth, started to speak, and coughed. Medren stepped forward quickly. "Are you all right?"

"Oh – oh, yes, I'm fine. And a drink sounds – lovely." Her voice sounded like golden tinted honey, at least in Medren's opinion.

"Great!" replied Medren enthusiastically. "Let's go up to the bar, I've got a couple of seats saved." At this Medren glared at his friend, clearly saying, _Back off_. His fellow bard shrugged and moved off to some other desolate corner of the tavern, and Medren led his acquisition by the hand and helped her into her stool. "So, what's your name?"

Her mouth opened for a second and she looked panicked before saying, "Stefen. Ie."

"Stephanie, eh? That's pretty."

She nodded. "Thanks!" There was a pause when the waiter came and they ordered their drinks. "So, what were you?"

The question was direct and to the point. Medren decided he liked Stephanie. "A bard. You?"

"Oh, a bard! How romantic!" she exclaimed. "I… was a singer."

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This wasn't as hard as he had thought it would be, Stefen concluded as he proceeded deeper in to conversation. At first he had to try; there had been a couple moments where he held back giggles or stumbled on a response. And he spoke in a higher pitched voice, which was a little hard to do, hence the coughing fit. But the words just seemed to flow now – especially when he declared bards to be romantic. Not as if he wasn't romantic, but….

A singer? Where had that come from? No time to wonder, Medren was speaking again.

"Oh, that's nice," he said. Stefen rolled his eyes. "Where did you live?"

_No point in lying_. "Haven," Stefen replied. "Did you live in the palace like some of the other bards, or did you travel?"

"Traveled, mostly," Medren said as their drinks came. They conversed a bit more as they sipped their drinks, until Stefen began to get utterly fed up with the whole thing. _I've got to get him out of here!_ _Van and 'Fandes are probably wondering where I've got off to by now._

"So," Stefen interjected. "Where are you staying tonight?"

Medren's eyes widened at "Stephanie's" forthrightness. "Well, I've got a place in town –"

"How would you like to come with me?"

Medren's face looked like a child just presented with a mountain of candy. "I – I'd love to!"

Stefen grinned and slid off the stool. _Well, that worked well._

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"Where is he?" Van hissed from his hiding place just outside the tavern.

"Get a grip, Van, these things to take time! I'm sure Stefen is going as quickly as he can!" Yfandes whispered back. She was positioned on the opposite side of the door. Both sides were conveniently sheltered by bushes.

Just then, the door opened. Yfandes braced herself for another trouser clad leg, but was pleasantly surprised by a glimpse of scarlet satin. _This is it!_ She waited as Stefen exited, then shouted their agreed-upon signal.

"Now!"

Herald and Companion leaped from their concealment just as Medren closed the door. The bard had no time to react; he simply collapsed with an "oomph!" as Van neatly knocked him unconscious. Stefen immediately started a victory dance.

"We did it, we did it, la la la la la la, we did it!"

Van laughed. "Yes, Stef, we did it. Now come on. This deed is not yet complete! Care to do the honors, Stephanie?"

Stefen glared, but replied, "Certainly."

He quickly stripped Medren down, removing every last bit of clothing. "Perfect!" Vanyel quickly stuffed the clothing in the bag while Yfandes played lookout. The lifebonded couple dragged Medren into the bushes.

Stefen clapped his hands. "Hooray! Now I can finally be rid of this disgusting garment!" He pulled off the dress and changed into tunic and trousers he had brought with him, and wiped off most of the makeup. Now there were only two things left.

"Van?"

"Yes?" replied Vanyel.

"A little help here?" Stef asked, annoyed. "I don't know if you noticed, but my chest isn't usually this large, especially since I've already removed that stuffing. And my hair coloring? It didn't get this way with dye."

Van chortled and removed chest spell. "I'm tempted to leave you blonde, but unfortunately, they'd recognize you." He took off the hair spell as well.

Stef shook out his hair. "Ah, free at last!"

Yfandes's voice drifted through the bushes. "You two done in there yet?"

"Yes, coming, love!" Van called back. "Come on, Stef. We've still got to get those rooms, and I want to see if we can snag the one above our slumbering troubadour here."

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Medren awoke very uncomfortably. _Why does it feel like I'm lying on gorse bushes?_ He groaned and opened his eyes to look down. _Well, that answers that question. Because I am._ He shut his eyes against the sun but very quickly opened them again. _Wait, why the hell am I _naked_ and lying in gorse bushes?_

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Stefen poked Vanyel. "Van – he's awake!"

Vanyel, Stefen, and Yfandes jousted for room around the small window above Medren, who lay below. "You know what to do, 'Fandes," Van said. Yfandes nodded and disappeared, only to return with a bucket of water.

"This'll get him up pretty quickly," she grinned. "Care for the honors, Van?"

"I'd love to," Van said happily as he accepted the pail from his companion and gleefully upturned it over the half-asleep bard below.

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As the man-made waterfall made contact, Medren yelped, leaped to his feet, and dashed away from the cold stream. However, the only route was though the bushes and out into the street, something which Medren took no notice of before adopting this course of action.

However, this was brought to his full attention as he surveyed his new position among a street full of shocked people. Medren's cheeks slowly grew redder.

"Shit," he said.

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A/N: Sorry this is so late – I've have been extremely busy keeping up my 4.0 and homework has been killer, especially math. But here's a cross-dressing Stefen to cheer you up! Hope you enjoyed it :D

Also, I am well aware that I have pretty much turned the Havens into my own private little world, and that there is nothing in canon to suggest this at all. However, I also believe that there's nothing in canon against it, either! So it's all good. (note that I used the verb "believe." As in, not sure.) I'm just having fun playing with the characters for the time being, because I've always found Stefen hilarious. And Medren baiting is so much fun! I know this story isn't probable, but it's not meant to be. If you don't like it and you've read this far, then all I ask you is why?

- Natalie

Edit 2/24/07 - Added scene breaks because they didn't show up before. grumbles


	7. Falling Apart

A/N: Any mistakes where I don't go along with canon you notice in this chapter are completely my fault. I don't have my copies of the books and I don't have a beta, either, so I'm winging it. It's quite fun, actually.

Chapter 7 - Falling Apart

Vanyel stretched his legs and lay back in the lawn chair, watching the sun set. Stefen mirrored his position in the chair next to him.

"Stef," Van said, in a troubled tone. "Do you ever get the feeling we're being watched?"

Stefen glanced over at his lifebonded with a raised eyebrow. "What makes you ask that?" he asked. "Don't you feel peaceful? I feel peaceful." He indicated the view from their vantage point. "Look at that sunset and tell me you don't feel peaceful."

Van furrowed his brow. "Yes, but I can't shake off this feeling. It's like… it's as if somebody hidden was tickling the back of my neck with a very, very long invisible feather."

Stefen snorted.

"No, really!" Van protested. "I'm serious!"

"Yes, but honestly – a very long, invisible feather?"

"Well, that's what it feels like."

Stefen shook his head. "You, _ashke_, are crazy."

"At least I admit it," Van retorted.

The two basked in the fading sunlight, surrounded by foliage and content in their silence. Van turned his head quickly as he heard a rustling sound in the plant-life behind him.

"What was that?"

Stef scratched his head. "I dunno." He too had contorted his body to look behind his chair. They both stared behind for a couple non-moving seconds and stared intently at the innocent shrubbery.

Vanyel interrupted the silence. "Well, it doesn't look like it's coming back, so what say you we watch more of the sunset." He shook his head and turned back to the sunset. "Damn, we missed most of the end. It's fading, now." He gestured toward the sky.

Stefen shrugged. "No matter; we can watch tomorrow. That's one good thing about the Havens – always brilliant sunsets!"

"True, true," Van laughed. They rested tranquilly for a couple of moments more before –

"What was that?!" Stefen jumped up sharply and twisted his neck around to look at the bushes. Crackling leaves gave away the presence of the unknown in the unassuming foliage behind them.

Van sighed. "All right, I know I scared us both a bit talking about people watching me, but it's probably nothing, Stef. We've really got to get less stressed. I think 'Fandes tossing a bucket of water on me shot my nerves." He stared resolutely at the darkening sky, not surrendering to the impulse urging him to turn his head.

"I guess so," Stef hesitantly agreed. The bard copied his lifebonded and stared at the sky.

Both registered looks of shock on their faces when the magic seized them and they were thrown into unconsciousness.

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Vanyel awoke in a softly lit room with Stef beside him. "Damn," he muttered. "What _happened_? Guess that sound in the bushes wasn't just a figment of my imagination," he acknowledged a tad belatedly.

"Who in havens would abduct Stef and I?" Van pondered. "Actually, more important at the moment – Where in Havens did they take us?" Van wondered. A quick glance at the redhead revealed him to be asleep still, so Van settled for examining his surroundings and let the bard rest.

A survey of the room showed a door in the wall opposite. Van slid off of the bed he lay on and traversed the distance between it and the bed and attempted to open it. He jiggled the doorknob, but try as he might, the portal refused to give. Next he tried using any one of his magical abilities; as he reached into the center of his power, he felt a wall surrounding his power and an internal shock suddenly coursed through his body. The door remained solid. "Damn," he swore under his breath. "They've locked the room magically." He tried his last resort, one of the only things he was nearly always able to do – he called 'Fandes. But his Companion's mind-voice stayed silent. He gave that up for the time being and turned to continue his investigation.

Wood paneling lined the walls, which were bare. The bed in the corner where Stef lay was sparsely furnished; a sheet covered the skinny mattress. The gentle glow illuminating the room Van traced to a couple candles resting in sconces near the door. A small table and chair set rested in one corner of the room, completing the ensemble of furniture. "Not much of a collection," Van said to himself as he ran his hand along the pattern grooves in the oak of the table.

Van slumped down in the chair, put his head in his arms, and began to think. His black hair spilled out over his hands and he pushed it angrily behind his ears. _Think, Van, think. Who on Earth would abduct you and Stef and imprison you both in a magically locked room? Hell, this is the _Havens_. Are there still people with grudges against me here? If so, this place is a lot less of a haven then I expected. _

Van's ears caught rustling noises behind him and he lifted his head to spy Stef's red mane moving. "Oi, bard," Van called, not at all loath to waking his lifebonded now that the bard displayed signs of life. "Get up."

A muffled groan emerged from the bundle of auburn locks.

"Stef, I really think you ought to get up," Van said. "Or haven't you wondered where you are yet?"

Van deciphered Stef's grunt as "bed."

"Yeah, you may be in _a_ bed, but it's sure as hell not _our_ bed."

Stef's head finally rose. The bard yawned hugely, providing Van with an excellent throat view. Stefen rubbed his eyes, finally opened them, and then looked around curiously at the barren chamber.

"Where the hell are we?" Stefen asked in confusion.

"That's the problem," Vanyel said grimly. "I have absolutely no idea."

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Yfandes galloped towards the house she shared with her Herald and his lifebonded. Having spent the entire night dozing in the field surrounding the bungalow, she felt she was due a little breakfast besides grass. Grass, while nourishing, did not provide much delight to one's taste buds.

The house looked a bit empty as she observed it from the outside. No lights shone from the windows, although she supposed it was broad daylight and candles or lanterns weren't exactly required. However, the dwelling still gave off a rather deserted air. She put it out of her mind as she came upon the doors to the kitchen. Van and Stef had probably gone out, or something. That was all.

The door creaked as she transformed to a human and turned the handle. The kitchen was utterly uninhabited.

"Van?" called out Yfandes. "Stef? Where are you guys?" Silence answered her calls. She snorted, and mentally slapped her forehead. "What am I doing?" Forgoing the more traditional vocal method, 'Fandes reached out with her mind to her Herald. :_Vanyel? Van, chosen, where are you?_:

Once again, her communicative pleas were ignored, and this time that fact was much more alarming. If Vanyel couldn't hear her mind voice, he was too far away – and that meant he wasn't in the house, or anywhere within the two mile radius surrounding it. And he wouldn't have gone without telling Yfandes. He had never, _ever_ gone without telling Yfandes.

"Lord and Lady," Yfandes whispered. "Where could they be?"

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The mislaid pair currently center in the mind of the Companion at present were brainstorming solutions to be rid of the prison they had found their selves inhabiting upon awakening. Stef, who had been resting prone to the ground with his elbows propping his front up, rolled over onto his back and sighed. "This is impossible," he moaned.

"Well, you're an optimistic one, aren't you?" Van snapped, sitting on the floor a few feet away from Stefen. He then apologized. "Sorry, Stef. But really, just try, can't you?"

"I am trying" Stef cried. "It's just not working!'

"Well, try a little _harder_, why don't you!"

The two glared at each other a moment before Van shook his head. "This isn't getting us anywhere. We've got to do better than this."

Stefen threw up his hands. "Van, you don't understand! _There is no way out of this room. _It is sealed. Locked. We are _trapped._"

Van put his head in his hands. "Maybe so, but I refuse to believe it. There has got to be some way to escape this hell hole."

The two sat in silence until Vanyel spoke again. "I think the worst part of being here is that nobody has even acknowledged our presence. There haven't been any smug captors coming to gloat, or guards, or even some sort of silent servant to bring us food. It's like we don't exist."

Stefen silently agreed as he put his arms around Van's shoulders. After resting it for a moment, the bard stood with a groan and strode to the other side of the room. He examined the door, much as Van had done earlier, but just like his lifebonded, he could find no trace of weakness. Next he ran his hands over the walls, looking for anyway out, but nothing presented itself. In the end, his results ended up the same as Van's.

The pair retired to the bed, where they sat on the edge, put their heads together, and began an impromptu brainstorming session that ended up lasting for hours.

"What if," began Stef, rubbing his brow. "What if, say, we bust a hole through the door."

"And with what would we do that?" Van asked wearily.

"Er," said Stef. "The – the chair?"

"I have an idea," sighed Van as he lay back on the bed. "How about you try that plan, and I sit here and think of a better one while yours fails."

"Thanks for the support," Stef grumbled. "Honestly, though, if we could put enough force behind it, we might be able to force it through."

"It's possible," Van agreed, "but Stef, do you really think whoever's got us loced up would leave us with such a convenient escape route?"

Stef crossed his arms defensibly. "It's worth a try, at least."

"I suppose."

Vanyel levered himself off the bed and seized the seat from where it had been peacefully resting, oblivious to its coming fate. Heaving it on his shoulder, Van took a deep breath and began to run, letting out a guttural roar as he did so. Stefen watched helplessly as the head of the chair crashed into the door and promptly collapsed into itself. Van, however, wasn't able to stop, and he ran head on into the doorjamb.

"Ooomph," he gasped, and quickly sat down on the ground with the wind knocked out of him.

"Van! Are you all right?" Stefen cried as he sped to his lifebonded's side.

Van took a few deep breaths and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," he assured Stefen. The bard's worried expression disappeared as his mouth twitched for a moment. He began to laugh.

"And what, may I ask, is so funny?" Van asked in an offended tone.

Stefen giggled. "You – you ran into the door," he gasped out, and chuckled again.

Vanyel glared at Stefen, who paid no heed and began rolling around the floor in mirth. The herald watched him for a moment before collapsing in laughter himself.

"Well, we didn't get through the door," Van said after they had calmed down. "But nobody can say I didn't try!"

His comment only set Stefen into convulsions once more.

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At this point, Yfandes was mad with worry. Her chosen and his lifebonded had seemingly disappeared into thin air, with no indication of where they had gone or what had happened to them.

'Fandes had already contacted Medren; the bard had no idea of the whereabouts of the pair either. Medren had expressed his concern, offering to help, and the Companion had readily agreed. At this point, any aid was welcome.

Medren entered the living room, where Yfandes lay sprawled on the couch. "Ahoy, nude boy," she greeted him. "Glad to see you've decided to wear clothing today."

Medren glared. "Look, I'll have you know that that incident was all –"

Yfandes waved a hand. "I'm just baiting you, Medren." Medren shot her a surly look, but his eyes softened at the worried expression on 'Fandes' face.

"Look, 'Fandes, is there anything I can do to help?" He sat on the arm of the sofa and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Really, I'd do anything I can to help Van and Stef. You know me – I may act like I'm mad, but I know it's just all in good fun. They're my friends, and they mean a lot to me, too."

Yfandes burst into tears, "And I know that, Medren, I know that," she sobbed. "But – it's just – who would _do_ that, who would take somebody away? Even more here! We're in the Havens, for the gods sake. Aren't only good people supposed to be here? Or, I don't know, is there some kind of cutoff, like, 'Oh, well, this bloke's been pretty good, hmm, hows about we'll just toss him in the Havens with the lot of them, and hope everything turns out okay?' I mean, does it even _work_ that way?" She continued to weep throughout her tirade, choking and drawing in sharp breaths and random intervals. "I – I just don't under_stand_, Medren. People – they're such a mystery, a conundrum – nobody _really­_ understands anybody else, ever, except for the select few. Like Van and Stef, you know?" She smiled a bit and shook her head. "Sometimes I'm jealous when I see them sitting in a corner together, laughing, wishing I could have that with somebody, but then I scold myself, because I've got that sort of thing with Van, too! It's just different, and that makes me feel a bit like a third wheel sometimes."

She sat up and wiped her tears. "But I still love them, Medren, both of them, so hard it hurts, and I know they feel the same about me – which is why I just don't under_stand_!" She hit the sofa cushions angrily with her fists and began to weep anew.

Medren patted her back. He slipped down off the arm of the sofa to sit beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. "Look, 'Fandes," he said soothingly. "I know exactly how you feel. You think I don't feel a bit of the same myself around those two sometimes?" He shook his head. "It's tough, sitting there, watching them complete the other's sentences like they share a mind, like they're one person. Which I suppose they are, a bit. They don't share a mind, but they do share a heart, which has got to count for something." He grinned, and Yfandes let out a small giggle. "Now, really, I know you don't understand it all – who does? Us humans – or whatever you Companions are. I know you were human at some point. Or at least as human as Heralds can be. Anyway, us humans are only permitted to understand a small bit of the whole cycle, and I'll tell you what I've puzzled out in my lifetime.

"Somebody can be a great person their entire lives. They're generous, kind; they'll start a family and have countless kids. But maybe, they're jealous. Of something stupid, perhaps, but they're jealous all the same. Because jealousy is not rational, 'Fandes," Medren said solemnly. "On the contrary, jealousy is about as irrational as it gets. Jealousy can change a person to the core; it can turn them from a kind individual into an unreasoning monster.

"Jealousy," Medren finished, "is why Van and Stef were kidnapped."

'Fandes peered at him uncertainly.

"I know it may sound strange, 'Fandes darling, but think about it – you yourself confessed to it just a moment ago. If you love them, 'Fandes, as much as you do, and yet are _still jealous of them_ – what's it gonna be like for people who don't happen to like them as much?"

'Fandes wiped her eyes again, but this time the tears didn't return. She blew her nose and sighed. "I suppose you're right," she agreed, and shook her head. "Still – this doesn't tell us who abducted Van and Stef. After all, if your theory is right, there could be millions out there with a motive." She looked at him balefully.

"Not quite, I don't think. I think we can eliminate all Heralds, for the reason you put in earlier – they've all got something similar with their Companions. The people we've got to look out for are, I don't know, the ones who aren't really happy here, the ones who've never really got what they've wanted. Also, I think the person we're looking for may have something against shaych people."

'Fandes nodded. "Makes sense." She stood up from the sofa and walked to the door. "We've got to do something about this, Medren, and we need help. Coming?"

She held the door open pointedly.

Medren levered himself up. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

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Flyers appeared around the Havens; people found them fluttering down from the sky, or pasted of trees and fences. Some appeared simply lying in piles on roadsides; others on the walls of popular hangouts.

All advertised the disappearance of everybody's favorite Herald and his lifebonded.

All displayed a picture of the two together.

All pleaded for their safe return.

Yfandes, galloping down a road in her Companion form, noticed a couple of stray flyers and nodded appreciatively. _Good_. _Those things should be all over by now._

Unable to think of any other way of attaining help, 'Fandes had resorted to an old advertising standby, but taken it to a new level by creating thousands of the things. By this time she had gotten several new assistants, all searching for the missing pair. Within the two days since she had begun, hundreds had volunteered for the search. Yet, there was still no progress on Vanyel and Stefen.

Yfandes constantly called out to her chosen with her mind, but she received no answer, and it was beginning to spook her. She hadn't felt this lonely in… well, ages, really. Since she had chosen Vanyel, and that was a long, long time ago. Van was her constant companion, her ever dependable friend, and yet he was currently unreachable. If it wasn't for Medren, she would have gone mad by now.

Medren proved to be a huge help in more ways than one. He was just as devoted as Yfandes in their search, and just as worried about his friends, but more importantly, he kept 'Fandes sane. Whenever she felt unable to take it all, as if she would burst into tears any second, Medren was there, offering his shoulder to cry on, or presenting a handkerchief to wipe her damp eyes. It was Medren who talked to her, Medren who reassured her that all would be well. Because as loath as 'Fandes was to admit it, Vanyel's absence was making her fall apart.

Turning into the yard, she changed seamlessly from horse to human and stumbled a bit as she found her footing. Righting herself, she pushed open the door and nearly staggered inside, she was so tired. She hadn't been sleeping well since the disappearance. Stumbling to the sofa, she collapsed and lay her head back, feeling herself slip into sleep. A moment later, she shook herself awake. Medren had promised to drop by, and she needed to be conscious.

Medren came in a few minutes later and dropped onto the sofa beside her. "Lord and Lady, I am _so_ tired," he mumbled. He perked up. "But 'Fandes, I've got a great surprise for you. Guess what?" He grinned mysteriously.

'Fandes's brow furrowed. "What is it, Medren?"

"I've got news."

"News!" she shrieked, and immediately leaped up, no longer the least bit sleepy. "Medren, you idiot, hurry up and tell me! Where are they? What's wrong? Who took them? Oh, we've got to go _right now_… should I bring anything? What if they're hungry? Maybe they weren't fed! Oh, gods, we've got to get them back!"

She would have continued if Medren hadn't interceded with a timely interruption. "'Fandes! Calm down! We're not sure where they are yet, but we know who took them. It shouldn't be long now! All we've got to do is find him and get him to lead us to Van and Stef. All right?"

'Fandes stood with a blazing look in her eyes. "All right," she agreed. The look on her face nearly frightened Medren with its intensity. "But wherever that bastard is, when we find him, he's mine. I've still got some of the old Heraldry left in me, and I intend to use it."

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A/N: Wooo! Longest chapter yet. It also took the longest to write, I think, but disregard that. Anyway, sorry about the wait. I honestly didn't have any time to write until school got out, and after that I was pretty busy as well. Friends keep inviting me places :D I was also having a lot of difficulty with the plot. I originally started this thing with no plot at all, which of course never works well, and then planned to continue it as a prank war, which also had no plot at all. Then, when I finally sat down to create a plot, I had Medren as the one kidnapping Van and Stef, can you believe that? It made sense at the time, but he works much better this way, I think. Anyway, now that I know what I'm doing, I really hope this story will be finished this summer. At most it will be about ten chapters, and at least it will be eight. But no fear – I actually had an idea for a SEQUEL while writing this. I know, right? A sequel? ME? But it's true. I may actually write a sequel to this whole godsforsaken thing.

Anyway, if anybody actually read that whole rambling thing up there, I've got a favor to ask of you all (this is a shameless plug, by the way). I recently opened up a fictionpress account and I have posted a couple of original things up there. I've got two humorous short stories, as well as the first chapter of a novel that I will also be working on this summer. My penname is Yabberli and I would really really appreciate it if some of you would take a look!

This is Natalie, signing off. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! As always, review! Review! Review! And don't forget to check out my fictionpress!

P.S. The next chapter will show Van and Stef's experiences in the passt two days, as well as hopefully 'Fandes's angry interrogation.

P.P.S. This was written almost entirely while listening to In the Backseat, by The Arcade Fire. Amazing song, and perfect to write to. Go check it out!


	8. Confinement and Wussy Bards

Chapter 8

Vanyel and Stefen had long since giving up on busting any holes through the door. They lay side by side on the bed, not speaking. They were tired, they were hungry, and they were half asleep.

So it was understandable, when the door opened, they were not quite as speedy on the pick up as they would have liked to be.

"Stef," Van murmured.

"Mmmmmm," Stefen replied eloquently.

"Stef," Van said again. "I believe the door has opened."

"That's interesting," Stef agreed.

The two lay in silence for a moment, then as one sat up and stared at the door.

Standing in the doorframe was a slight, brown haired man with unremarkable features and a short neck. Vanyel and Stefen gaped at him. He stared back with wide eyes, but was other wise seemingly emotionless.

All three stared for a minute until the newcomer broke the connection by bending down and setting a tray that had gone previously unnoticed by Van and Stef on the ground. Straightening up, he cleared his throat.

"He'll be here soon," he said flatly, before turning around and leaving, shutting the door behind him. A clicking sound a moment later heralded the locking of the door.

Van and Stef sat in shock for a moment before bounding up off of the bed simultaneously and rushing to the door, pounding at it and turning the handle futilely.

"Oi!" shouted Van, slamming his fist into the ungiving wood. "Come back! What do you mean, 'he'll be here soon?' For that matter, who's he? Come back, damn it!" Stefen added in a few shouts of his own.

But it was no use; the strange man did not return, and the door remained as locked as it ever was. Van sank to the ground beside the tray, and prodded at the food left for them.

"May as well eat this, eh, Stef? At least we'll get some strength back," said Van gloomily. Stefen agreed and the two transferred the tray to the lone table. They perched awkwardly around the food, as there were no chairs: Van had broken the only one earlier.

"Look," said Van, munching on a cracker, "I suppose this is good news, isn't it? I mean, we do have confirmation that at least somebody will be here within the next day or two. That's got to be soon."

"Yes," Stef agreed, "but for that matter, who's he? We know someone's coming, _ashke_, but we've got no indication as to whom, and that could be quite a large problem."

Van shook his head tiredly and sighed. "I don't know, Stef, I just don't know. I suppose the only thing we can do now is to wait for whoever 'he' is to come. And honestly, 'Fandes has got to be looking for us by now, and I don't doubt she's worried as hell. But honestly, Stef, I don't see how she's going to find us without a lot of help, and that may take awhile. So I think we're going to have to fend for ourselves for the moment here."

There was a knock on the door as Van finished speaking, and then the handle turned and it swung open.

A man stepped in, different from the last time, clad in a white tunic and breeches, almost a parody of the Heralds' dress. Shaggy blond hair drooped in his eyes, which peered intently out from beneath the strands. Looking into the orbs, Van was surprised at the hate that his saw there – he hadn't seen such revulsion towards himself since his own lifetime, when he would fight monsters and villains bent against the destruction of himself, his countrymen, or Valdemar.

He hadn't known people could hate in the Havens; it was one of the things he had loved about it.

The man spoke. Van shook himself out of his reverie and listened.

"So," he said in an oily tone. "You're here. I'm here. Don't you wonder what's going to happen now?"

Stef, always the impulsive one, burst out, "Who are you?"

The stranger shook his head. "No one of consequence, nobody either of _you_ two would know."

Van's voice was level. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying you've got no idea who I am, Herald, and that's the thing – you _should._" His face was turning red and his eyes narrowed angrily.

"And why would that be?"

"Because," the man exploded. "You two idiots never see what's in front of you! Always laughing, talking, fooling around, in your perfect little sphere world of happiness, with your pretty white horse and your love bond that ensures your eternal tranquility – why are you two so damn _lucky?_ Your lives are perfect, you realize that, you know – every day is a happy one, every morning a fresh slate, with nothing to worry about, no concerns, nothing bothering you!" He drew in a deep breath, eyes wild and eyebrow twitching madly. "Well, GUESS WHAT? Not everything is perfect for everybody else! Lord and Lady know why you two live such blessed existences while the rest of us are left to suffer in the dark! Why is it, Herald? WHY IS IT?"

He ended his rant, breathing hard, glaring with brightly burning eyes that seemed to bore holes straight through Van and Stef. The lifebonded pair backed away a bit, staying away from the obviously fanatically enraged stranger.

"This," started the man again, "is why I've done this to you. I've decided to give you – the pair of you – a taste of your own medicine! That's right," he said to Van and Stef's enlightened faces. "I brought you here, I kidnapped you, I paid the mage to lock you in here, in this room, away from your damned white witch horse! Now you'll feel how we feel, how we _normal_ people live, in the shadows of your joyful existence!

"How does it feel, eh? How does it feel to be separated from your witch horse? Are you missing your little bard friend? Are you suffering without your instant access to magical powers the like of which nobody else has seen in their _lives_? I should kill you now," he snarled, his features twisting, "just to wipe the contented smirks off your faces – but I won't." Stefen breathed an unconscious sigh of relief and felt Van do the same beside him. "Oh, I wouldn't relax so soon," their captor sneered. "I won't kill you yet. But I've got better things to do. I'd say it's about time to go find the little white witch horse." He turned his back and stalked to the door. "I think red will look good against her coat, don't you?" And amidst Stefen's strangled yelp, and Van's futile lunge toward him, he exited, leaving Van to crash furiously into the wall.

The Herald, normally strong, collapsed into hot, angry tears. Stefen crawled down to the floor beside him to put his arms around him and comfort him.

"_Ashke, Ashke, _it's okay, he's bluffing, he's got to be bluffing. He couldn't touch 'Fandes with a ten foot pole if she didn't let him, you know that. 'Fandes is tougher than you sometimes. Van, come on, stop crying. We've got to find a way out of this."

Van sniffled a bit, but the tears halted. "Stef, this is ridiculous," he said wetly. "We're here – separated from 'Fandes, I may add, who's about to be attacked by a crazed madman – just because we were happy and somebody else wasn't. How is that even _fair_?" he exclaimed, punching the ground with his fists. "For once, just once in my life, I'm enjoying myself. I don't have to worry about anything but myself. I've got you, I've got 'Fandes, I've got friends. I've got a nice house! I'm throwing parties, pulling pranks – in short, all the things I never got to do in Valdemar. Essentially, I've been having fun without the weight of the world on my shoulders.

"And some bastard has to step in and mess it all up for me. What do you want to bet he had a good life, eh, Stef? He probably had a family. He probably had friends. He was probably happy. But no. He has to be jealous of me for the happiness I've only finally been granted! And I deserve happiness, Stef!" he shouted suddenly. He quieted. "I deserve it," he repeated in a softer tone. He put his head in his hands.

Stef stepped in. "Look, Van, _ashke_, you're right. You do deserve it – more than anybody else I've ever known." He flashed a quick smile at his lifebonded before continuing. "Don't believe anything that vile tongue says, Van. But you know, in a way, that man is right about one thing. You're special. You know that, Van? You're special, because you're the purest, most valiant person I've ever known." Van looked up. "Honestly, Van, haven't you ever noticed? You've got a saving people thing, for sure – everybody else's life comes long before yours does. You die in an instant if it meant you could save the life of an innocent, and if you were starving and locked in chains, and saw somebody happy, you wouldn't feel an ounce of jealousy or misgiving towards them – you'd only be happy for their contentedness. Don't you realize how rare that is, Van, to find a person who cares more for the happiness of others, of strangers, than their own?"

Van shook his head and pounded halfheartedly on the door again. "It doesn't matter, Stef. Look where it's got me." He gestured around their cramped prison. "It's got me nowhere."

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Medren left, leaving Yfandes behind, to get the final information on the location of Vanyel and Stefen's kidnapper. 'Fandes protested bitterly when he announced his intentions to go alone, but she settled back down when Medren explained that he was the only person his informant would talk to. Still, 'Fandes reflected, sitting alone and worrying was remarkably boring and stressful.

She jumped as the door opened and turned eagerly. Medren wore a grin and Yfandes soon sported one as well when she saw his face.

"You've got news?"

"Yep," Medren assured her. "They're being kept in a townhouse not far from here. From what I can gather, it belongs to one of the townspeople. Callum Krishner. I've got no idea why he'd want to kidnap Van and Stef, but then, I guess we'll have to go and find out." He shook his head. "This entire thing is ridiculous, you know that? This is the Havens! As in, no kidnapping! All is well! Nobody should have to worry about criminals, because the criminals aren't allowed in the first place!"

'Fandes seemed introverted, and Medren remained quiet until she spoke up. "I've been thinking," she said, and Medren glanced up hopefully. "Greatness inspires envy, and envy engenders spite, right?" Medren started to agree, but she continued. "I don't think any of these people had to be criminals in their past lives to just be jealous. And as we've just established, jealous people do stupid things. Sometimes they're so jealous that they are blinded – they can't even see past their own large noses to realize that what they're doing is amazingly stupid. If they could just think straight – if they weren't wearing blinders constructed of greed – they'd never do something like this. They'd never kidnap two innocent men, whose only crimes were to be happy."

Her voice shook, but she continued. "It's still not an excuse, though, Medren. He's still got no reason to do this. He's still gonna get his ass kicked." She turned watery eyes toward Medren and grinned. "Come on, we've gotta go. Someone's got a beating coming, and I've got no sympathy left for him. He made his choice."

Medren extended his hand to 'Fandes and the two made their way out the door.

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"Oi – get your elbow out of my side!" Yfandes hissed angrily.

"Sorry!" Medren whispered frantically in the bushes. "Now be quiet – they're gonna hear us if you don't shut up!"

"I don't care," 'Fandes said angrily. "Let them come, I'll take them all –"

"Shut up!"

'Fandes obediently closed her mouth as two townspeople strolled by in the warm summer night. She and Medren lay on their stomach in a patch of bushes across the way from Krishner's home. A lone light burned in the upstairs window, and 'Fandes couldn't help but wonder if Van and Stef were there, or if they were perhaps below ground.

"All right," Medren said in a hushed tone, "Look, here's our plan of action. Um. Honestly, I'm not very good at all this action. Ideas?"

'Fandes snorted and stood, dragging Medren by the collar along with her. "Come on, bard. If you don't have a plan, then we're doing this my way. Companion style, if you will."

Medren gulped. "I'm really not so sure I trust you anymore. I've known far too many crazy Companions, to be honest."

"Oh, don't be silly!" Yfandes laughed a little too boisterously. "If you can't trust a Companion, you can't trust anybody!"

"…Right," Medren replied. "Look, 'Fandes, how about we just go home now and figure out a plan. We can come back once we actually know what we're going to do!"

"Pssh," 'Fandes said scornfully. "Plans are for wussy bards.

"Besides, I already know what we're doing."

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With Medren trailing reluctantly behind, Yfandes knocked violently on the door.

"'Fandes, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Quiet bard. Let the Companion wok her magic."

The door opened. A man appeared in the doorway. "Can I help you?"

"Yes," said 'Fandes, and delivered quite a nice right hook to the man's temple.

Medren stood openmouthed and stared down at the newly unconscious form of the door-answerer. "Where'd you learn to do _that_?"

"Haven't you heard? Never attempt to mess with a Companion. We bite."

"Or punch," noted Medren.

"Whatever the situation requires. Now come on. We've got to find them. Next time I see somebody, kindly remind me not to knock them unconscious. We need some information."

"Uh, Yfandes –" Medren interjected as they slipped into the house and began to navigate the dimly lit hallways. Pausing at an intersection, 'Fandes opened a door and glanced down the revealed corridor.

"Not now, Medren."

"No, 'Fandes, seriously. Listen! _I know where they're being kept! _We do not need to look randomly!"

'Fandes turned to stare at Medren. "Oh, _now_ you tell me? Nice one, Medren. Seriously. _Where are they?!_"

Medren shook his head. "They're in the basement! As far as I know, they're in a locked room which's been sealed magically, which is why Van hasn't blown up the place getting out by now."

'Fandes nodded once, but she seemed deep in thought. "Right. Which way to the basement?"

"No idea."

"Well, you're sure helpful. All right. To the stairs."

They bumped around the house, miraculously not waking anybody up, and Medren began to wonder if anybody was home at all. Eventually they came upon a narrow flight of stairs. Though the first few steps were clearly lit by a wall sconce mounted outside the door, the steps gradually darkened so that one finally descended into darkness.

"Right," said Medren nervously. "You go first."

'Fandes snorted, managing to sound quite a bit like a horse. "I was already planning to," she said, and then mumbled something that sounded like "wussy bard" under her breath.

She took the first step and winced as the stair creaked, but she continued, with Medren following hesitantly behind. The lights vanished, and Medren squinted in an attempt to see through the inky darkness. He reached out and touched the wall for support, as he surely would have fallen if he had not.

They continued, bypassing the stairs and tiptoeing down another dark corridor. There weren't any wall sconces down here.

And then – Medren squinted again – surely not…?

But it was. "Is that a light?" Yfandes murmured in a sleepy sort of way.

"Yes, I think," Medren agreed. The darkness had a sort of calming effect, but the approaching illumination did nothing to comfort. For it was approaching, Medren realized; coming closer, bobbing up and down, and now he could see, it was a candle, and a candle would have to be held –

By a man.

'Fandes pressed herself against the wall of the corridor and Medren followed suit. The small ball of light bobbed closer in the darkness, revealing a man strolling slowly down the corridor, looking deeply immersed in his own thoughts. He came nearer and nearer, and Medren was sure he was going to spy them in a moment when Yfandes acted.

She stepped out in front of the man in a smooth sort of motion and intoned, "Good evening."

The man let out a strangled yelp. Three things happened. The man threw his candle in the air. The light danced on the ceiling for a moment, darting across stone and wood and splattering patterns on Medren's face, before succumbing to gravity and descending downwards. As it fell, Medren became responsible for the second thing. He punched the man in the face. Yfandes, in the meantime, completed the third thing and caught the candle.

"Ah," said Yfandes. "I think that's better, don't you?" She held the candle aloft on one hand.

"You –" gasped out the man. He was pale, with an overgrown blonde mop and a white tunic that stood out handily in the dark. As soon as he spoke, he clutched his head and groaned. Medren's punch seemed to have done the trick.

"Me," said Yfandes. "I suppose you are Callum?"

And then Medren recognized him from the description his informant had provided. This was indeed Callum Krishner, and judging from the half-illuminated expression on his face, he was terrified. Medren wondered how anybody who was such a coward could manage to kidnap Van and Stef. As Yfandes turned her head slightly for confirmation, Medren looked her in the eye and nodded. She turned back to face the criminal. Her unoccupied arm shot out and snatched his collar, pulling his face close to hers.

Callum gasped sharply; his breaths came in little puffs and his eyes bulged slightly, like a frog's. "You've got one chance," she snarled. "Where are they?" Her harsh tone startled Medren. He hardly recognized Yfandes like this. She wasn't just tough, she was mean, and as he thought this he caught a glimpse of the shine in her eye and knew she was serious.

She shook Callum again, brought him closer, looking at him like a lion to a wounded zebra. Medren knew what he had to do.

"Stop," he interjected, pulling Yfandes from the man. "'Fandes, stop. You're going to kill him if you keep this up." Callum collapsed in a heap on the ground, whimpering. _So much for a tough opponent. One right hook and he's out for the count._

The Companion blazed with fury. "I don't care if I kill him, Medren, can't you see! He took Van and Stef! It's his fault! They – they could be _dead_ by now, or maimed, or –" she burst into tears.

"Calm down!" Medren exclaimed. "You need to get control!" He rushed to Yfandes and hugged her awkwardly, his spindly bard arms around her sobbing form. "'Fandes, I know you're worried, and you're stressed, and you're on your last straw, but you can't let it get to you." They both knew what went unsaid. _You nearly killed somebody, just because you got caught in the moment!_ But neither acknowledged it, and Yfandes nodded, wiping her eyes. "We've got to stay strong for Van and Stef, okay?"

Medren turned to the cowardly kidnapper. "This time, you've got to answer," he said, nudging the man with his foot. "Where are they?"

Callum pointed down the corridor the way he had come. Medren glanced down the path and then back at Callum, nodding. "Fair enough. You're coming with us, hear? And you will assist us if we need assistance, and you will not speak unless spoken to. Now get up." Medren hauled at the criminal's shirt, and managed to get him standing with a little help from Yfandes.

The corridor was straightforward; there weren't any paths on which to get lost on and in a moment they had arrived at a plain wooden door.

Medren reached out and tried the knob. "It's locked," he murmured to 'Fandes, and then turned to Callum. "Open it."

The gibbering man pulled a key from his pocket and turned it in the lock. To Yfandes' Companion senses, the door went through a thorough stripping as several enchantments faded. To Medren, however, the lock clicked, and that meant the door was open. He reached forward and turned the knob, and this time there was an answering squeak as the door swung open.

Yfandes pushed past Callum and Medren and barreled into the room.

"VAN! STEF! WE'RE HERE TO RESCUE YOU!"

The lifebonded pair sat on the floor, and the looks on their faces as they caught sight of the joyous Companion was enough reward for Medren. Not to mention he had his uncle and best friend back.

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A/N: Soooo… Probably a bunch of you are bemoaning the fact that I added plot, cause honestly the story's not as funny anymore, but too bad. It needs to end somewhere and I refuse to leave it as a plotless unfinished story that is, admittedly, funny, but still lacks any sort of structure at all. Also – wooo! This is probably the quickest I've updated since the very very beginning. Which is rather sad, when you think about it. It takes me this long to write 3500 words. Actually it doesn't take me very long at all. I just lose interest and then come back two weeks later all "Hmm. Maybe I should write my fanfic!" And then I always finish it in like, one night. Anyway. I had something I was gonna say down here but I've completely forgotten about it. Oh! Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Eh? Eh? It was great, wasn't it? I loved it. Anyway, I've already written a great deal of the epilogue already, and that's all we've got left, so hopefully I'll be able to update pretty soon-ish. Don't get your hopes up, though. Chances are a giant mongoose of distraction will attack me on the way to swim practice and I'll forget about this thing for a year.

Anyway, as always, go to my fictionpress! Penname Yabberli. And if you have any interest at all in the Arthur legend go read my King Arthur fic. Especially if you're a fan of the Mists of Avalon. I think you'll enjoy it.

It is now 1:08 in the morning. Signing off now.

-Natalie


	9. Return

Chapter 9

Return

Vanyel sat on the beach and stared out at the water, eyes blank. Every so often he would toss another stone into the sea, enjoying the _plunk_ it made and watching it sink into the oceanic depths.

Stefen walked up beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. For a moment they stood in companionable silence, but then Stefen spoke.

"What's wrong, _ashke_?"

Vanyel took awhile to respond. "I've been thinking, Stef." He returned to his silent state.

Stefen didn't prod for more, and was rewarded when Van continued. "I've been thinking about people."

The Herald took a deep breath. "We were kidnapped, Stef. You know that. You know why we were kidnapped, too. It's because some goddamn stupid person decided that he was jealous of us, Stef. Jealous of what we have, jealous of what we stand for. Did you know, Stef, that I've been enjoying our time in the Havens? What am I talking about? Of course you know. You've seen me acting like I've never acted before, carefree, young, enjoying the childhood I never really had."

Van shook his head. "And you know what, Stef? I don't think I can do that anymore. It was fun while it lasted, sure, but it's not playtime anymore. Playtime ends as soon as somebody gets hurt.

"I liked the Havens because I thought they were different than Velgarth, Stef. I thought that here, nobody could get hurt. I thought everybody was as nice and carefree as I've been these past weeks."

Stefen moved to put his arm around Van's shoulders. He hugged his lifebonded tightly as Vanyel continued. "I've learned something, Stef. Boys will be boys, men will be men, and people will be people. Nothing can really change the inner core of humanity, even the promise of a perfect world, a happy world. People will still find something to envy, some small discontent that will poke at them, bother them, until they can't quite take it anymore and do something unforgivable, something that hurts another human being in a way that they never quite realized they meant to do until it's done.

"In short, Stef," Vanyel continued, "I honestly don't think the Havens are different from Velgarth at all. I'm still in danger, and I've still got to save everybody in the end. Once again, nothing can change who I am at the core."

He stopped, and looked as if he was making to continue, but remained silent. Stefen interjected. "What are you saying?"

"What I'm saying," Van replied, "is that if there's no difference between the two, then I might as well go to where I can actually make a difference. After all, it does seem to be what I was made for."

Stefen's breath caught in his throat. "You mean –"

"Yes, Stefen, that's exactly what I mean." Van's voice was hard; his mind was made up. "I'm going back to Velgarth, Stef, to Valdemar. I've got to try and make any difference I can, and I'm not doing anything beneficial up here. Sure, it was a nice break, but once again, nothing can change who I am. I'll always be a self-sacrificing old fool who's got one hero complex too many, but hey, if I can save somebody's life, somebody who doesn't deserve to die, just one person, then I don't mind.

"I've got to go back, Stef. I think I'll go crazy if I don't." He took a sharp breath, and Stefen realized he was holding back tears. The bard leaned over and hugged his lifebonded, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead.

"There, there, _ashke_, it's okay," he soothed. He patted Van on the back, and stroked his hair. "I know you'll be fine back there! I mean, the Havens are fun and all, but I've been getting a little bored myself. It'll be great being back home!"

Van took a deep breath and raised a hand to wipe away his tears, He turned his head toward Stefen. "Don't you see, Stef? Don't you know why I'm crying?" Tears leaked from beneath his eyelids, tracing curlicues and unknowable patterns down his cheeks. "I'm crying Stef, not because I'm afraid of the world, or anybody down there. I know I can get through it, Stef, because I've done it before. But Stef… I don't know what I'm going to do without you."

Stef's breath caught in his throat, and his whole body tightened. He hadn't thought – he hadn't realized the implications, and now that he knew what Van was planning on doing, he felt tears forming in his own eyes, felt them coursing down in a miniature river. Sniffling, he pulled Van closer, and the two of them rocked back and forth, savoring what they now knew to be some of their last time together.

Only Heralds were allowed to choose to be reincarnated. And Stef, while he'd been treated a lot like one, was not a Herald. He was a bard.

A talented bard, but a bard just the same.

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"'Fandes."

The Companion turned around and saw her Herald. Van had been quiet lately, preferring to spend time alone than to be the normal boisterous personality he'd become since they'd arrived at the Havens. In fact, Yfandes realized very suddenly, Van had readopted many of the traits he'd had back in Velgarth, which was worrying, when she thought about it. She'd loved the Vanyel she had back home, but 'Fandes would be the first to admit he'd been more than slightly messed up. Stefen had been his only anchoring point. Contrary to the Vanyel of old, who had clung to Stef despite his better instincts, this new, mopey Van seemed to be avoiding Stefen a little. And 'Fandes had no idea why this would be.

'Fandes realized Van was waiting for a response and shook her head to clear it. "What is it, Van?" she asked worriedly. The expression on his face disturbed her, and his young face seemed to have sprouted a few more wrinkles in his past week of brooding.

Van didn't answer right away and instead sat down on a rock near where Yfandes lay in the grass with a book open before her. He stared at his hands, long hair falling in a waterfall to conceal his face. He twiddled his thumbs, fidgeted, and generally avoided speaking. Yfandes waited patiently until she couldn't take it anymore.

"Seriously, Van, what is it? Are you all right?" She leaned up and put her hand on his knee in a motherly gesture; he turned his head and smiled sadly at her.

"I'm all right, 'Fandes. Or I will be soon. There's just something I have to do, and well," he hesitated. "I'm not sure if you'll like it."

Yfandes closed her book and moved into a sitting position with her knees up in front of her. "What is it?" she asked concernedly, eyes full of worry.

"Well…." Van hesitated, breath in his throat; then all of a sudden the words came piling out on top of each other like children tumbling off of a slide. "I've got to go back."

"You – you what?" Yfandes wasn't quite sure if she could believe what she was hearing.

"I've got to –"

"No, no," Yfandes cut him off. "I heard you the first time. Just – why? I thought we were having a great time here. I mean, aside from, well, you know, it's been perfect!"

"And that's the trouble, 'Fandes," Vanyel contradicted. "We were having a great time. I was finally enjoying myself and experiencing the life I never really got to live back home. And then the selfishness of a stupid man broke through my for once perfect life and made me realize that no matter where I was people were just the same, and just as I was on Velgarth, I am still somebody exceptional. I have the power to save and affect the lives of others, and after experiencing first hand what being selfish can do to a person, I have decided it would be irreparably selfish of me to withhold my influences from those down on Velgarth who might need a little saving or guidance." He slumped further down on his rock and put his head in his hands. "I don't want to go back, Yfandes, I really don't, but I have to. It's like a sharp pain in my gut, and I know it won't heal until I start helping people again. You might argue that I helped enough, but I've had a break now, and I think I'm ready to get back in the game. But, 'Fandes," and here he started sobbing, unable to hold it back any longer, "'Fandes, I'm going to miss Stef so much." He wept, unable to speak, and his Companion took him in her arms and held him and comforted him as much as was possible. But Vanyel was about to lose a lifebonded for the second time, and Yfandes knew that was the type of wound that never healed. To accept such pain knowingly and willingly required such strength that Yfandes believed only one like Van could handle it.

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The time had come.

Farewells had been given, announcements made, and now a select group of friends gathered to watch Van's return to Valdemar.

Beside the requisite Stefen and Yfandes stood Medren and Tantras and his Herald Kris as well. A couple other friends had made an appearance, and all looked saddened by the news that one of their favorite heralds was to leave.

Van stood alone, clad in his whites, on the beach, staring out onto the steel gray water. The weather on that day was appropriately glum, something Van hadn't really thought possible in the Havens, but apparently the gods made an exception for some things.

Vanyel was tired of being an exception. But it never ended.

Stefen trudged forward to the side of his lifebonded and slung an arm around his shoulder. "You ready, ashke?" he asked, the despair pooling in his eyes.

Van nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be." He pushed hair out of his eyes and looked down at Stef. "Look, Stef… I don't know what to say.

"Scratch that. I know exactly what to say. Stef, I love you so much it is ridiculous. I can't think of anything equal to my love for you save perhaps the love you feel for me, which is the way it should be." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "I will miss you so much it is painful to think about."

Stef engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug. "I will too, Van." A tear leaked from the corner of his eye. "Promise you'll come back? Don't go spending several centuries as a tree again, all right?"

"I promise," chuckled Van weakly. "So long as you're still here when I come back."

"It's a deal, then," said Stef, and squeezed Van a little tighter.

"All right," said Van, "I think I'm nearly ready." He stepped forward and grabbed Medren, hugging his nephew tightly. "Keep Stef company for me, okay?" he asked. "You bards have to stick together."

Medren grinned and pounded his uncle on the back. "I'll miss you, Van," he said in a serious tone. "You'd better come back quick or Stefen'll go spare."

"I'll do my best," laughed Van.

Then he turned to the one person who had always been for him, ever since he had come to Haven and the Heralds and the Palace and met Tylendel and then saved him after the devastating and terrible shock of 'Lendel's death. She had pulled him through countless life threatening situations and comforted him when he was down. She supported him and talked to him and laughed with him, even kept him human at times. When she first came to him it was as if a whole was filled that he hadn't even known _existed_, and the feeling of finally being complete was at once amazing and exhilarating and even a little bit scary until he got used to it. Sharing your mind with somebody was an incredibly intimate experience, and when one's mind was shared for several hundred years, it was difficult to even imagine the extent of closeness the two people in question must have possessed.

Yfandes moved first and seized Van in a hug full of so much emotion he nearly burst. Leaving Yfandes would almost be harder than leaving Stef, in some ways; he and Yfandes hadn't been separated almost ever since he had been chosen, and she had been his best friend, his Companion, throughout all that time. Going back to Valdemar would be just plain strange without 'Fandes by his side.

He squeezed the Companion tighter and looked her in the eye. "I'm gonna miss you, 'Fandes."

She sniffed. "Me too, Van."

There didn't seem to be anything else to say. The words hung in the air like great big black raindrops.

One last hug and it was over. Van turned around to face the rolling waves again. He seemed about to do something, but he turned around again almost right away.

"So, uh, anyone know how I leave here?"

That effectively diffused the situation. Yfandes gave a weak chuckle, all the while wiping her eyes, and Stef managed a grin. "Only you, _ashke_." He shrugged. "I dunno how you're gonna get out of here. I suppose you could, you know, just kind of ask?"

Van shrugged his shoulders. "It's worth a try, I guess."

He turned around again and raised his arms for good measure, turning around to wink at Stef. Then, without a pause, he looked up at the sky and stated, very eloquently:

"Hey, um, do you think I could possibly go back to Velgarth now?"

Nothing seemed to happen for a moment, and Stef breathed a sigh of relief – much as he had accepted it, he still didn't want his lifebonded to leave. But his sigh quickly turned into a gasp as a great black whirlwind rent the sky asunder, with dark, heavy clouds gathering and encircling the vortex. Van gave a half-shout of surprise before he was sucked upwards into the whirling mass of wind. Stef, Yfandes and Medren shouted their last goodbyes as Van disappeared.

"Well," said Medren. "I guess that's the end of it."

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Van opened his eyes to a dark world. He blinked a few times, tried to stand up, and immediately fell over. Looking down, he received a shock as he caught sight of his legs . They – well, they were, for one thing, white. And spindly. And he had a _hoof_.

Correction. He had four hooves.

He felt something nuzzle his head and started, before looking up – a large, white, full-grown mother Companion towered above him.

Van felt a sense of triumph. It had worked! He was back in Valdemar, back where he belonged, and he was a Companion – soon he would grow, and then, of course, he'd get a Herald, and it would be amazing if he could do even half of what Yfandes had done for him for his Herald.

He stopped his mind rambling to the adventures he and his Herald would have and concentrated on the here and now. His eyes had gotten used to the lack of light and he could see his "mother" standing next to him, and he must have been in a stable because there was another Companion mother in the stall across and he assumed he was surrounded by the equine beings.

However, even surrounded by his own kind, he still felt so very, very alone.

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IT IS OVER. I HAVE FINISHED. God damn my mind for coming up with sequel ideas though. I'm not promising anything soon, but here's the thing: Although school is really hard this year, and I've been doing soccer as well, I sprained my ankle on Friday. Therefore, I will probably be spending quite a bit of time immobile in bed. That means that if I manage to do all my homework and stuff, who knows? You could see the start of a sequel fairly soon.

Anyway! I am seriously so excited that I have finished and ashamed that it took me so long to write 9 chapters. All I can say is I hope you enjoyed them and they were worth the wait?

Last thing: PLEASE, PLEASE review! If you have never ever reviewed before, DO SO NOW. It's your last chance, kinda. The story is over! Just leave a note giving some criticism, your favorite part, heck, leave a note saying ANYTHING. I will love you forever.

This is Natalie, signing out. FOR THE LAST TIME. Man I am so epic. Anyway, REVIEW! Hopefully I will see you soon for the sequel :D (don't worry, I wouldn't be so cruel to Van as I seem to be).

-Natalie


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